Nothing is what I thought

Do you like to get intimate with fear ? Do you like to feel disappointed? Normally I would said no. I’d usually ran away from fear and I would hate to feel disappointed.

Within almost four decades I have had certain moments where pain, difficulty and misery have affected me somehow. After the death of my Father – and the process of his disease, a divorce, and other devastating events such as break- ups-, problems at work and other situations, that I sometimes used to call or see them as failures

As many others, I’ve been running away from fear and from the fear of suffering. Instead, I had always put in place hopeto block the fear from coming. The thing is that fear and hope are actually two sides of the same coin. The hope we create in our minds is nothing but an illusion. An illusion like: “everything will be better”, “we will find the right person”, “we will get perfect job”, etc. For now I’d say: hope is not something we really need, because all we need is what we have NOW.

The only thing that really exists is the now. In the case of fear/pain, I had finally face it, recently. Even though I’ve always thought it was horrible, because suffering involves crying and pain for hours-days-months sometimes, those days when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep and on, but after all theres something I liked about it. When you finally face your fears and suffer, what you’re doing is that you’re opening your heart. You are growing stronger.  It’s in the midst of troubled times when you see the light. Its one hard but meaningful moment of truth and awareness. “An illumination in the darkness of ignorance” says Pema.  Here- when getting to know your fears and facing sadness and suffering- you are able to realize how much harm you have done to yourself…. and also the harm you have caused to others and from this stating point, a sense of forgiveness and of acceptance arrives. In the case of disappointment I will leave it all to Pema who wise fully says: “When there’s a disappointment, I don’t know if it’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure.”

Pema Chödrön, an American Buddhist Nun and meditation master of a Tibetan Buddhist Practice, wrote a book called “When Things Fall Apart”, a book that both me and my very good friend Efy are currently reading. Will be back with a lil more from it… ❤Image


6 thoughts on “Nothing is what I thought

  1. Dear Carolina, I found your blog by accident and I was really happy to see that you share thoughts on this matter. What I have found also very useful especially for people like me who like to think a lot, even too much about several scenarios of the future is to realize that there are soooo many things that can happen that we are not even able to imagine, millions and millions of versions of our future that it is really not foreseeable. So it is absolutely useless to fear about the 2-3 things/ways that we can imagine. All what we can do is to do our best with love NOW and deal with everything as it comes. This way you open your heart and become stronger to face whatever comes, because you are present to act upon it without usually completely unnecessary fear.
    Thank you for sharing!

    1. Hi! Thanks for your comment, it was so revealing at the moment I read it. Im taking life as it is now….moment to moment and this is such a liberation ! Thanks again I hope to stay in touch with you!

  2. Dice la Biblia que el perfecto amor hecha fuera el temor y ese es Jesus Mi negra te amo y admiro mucho eres muy valiente y emprendedora, artista y sensible alegre y divertida. Tienes muchas, demasiadas virtudes. Es normal q te pase eso, pero no dejes q te afecte, hacia adelante con la ayuda de Dios y rodeándose de personas positivas y buenas.

    Oro por ti siempre.

    Enviado desde mi iPhone

    > El 01/03/2014, a las 16:24, E L I X I R escribió: > > >

  3. Love you post Cari. Que belleza el ahora querida amiga. Gracias por compartir esta sabiduría de estar en el ahora y tus experiencias. Vivir el presente, Uff! Tan fácil y tan difícil aunque es lo único que hay. Abrazo en tiempo real. Te quiero mucho 💛

    1. Gracias ichi, la belleza es estar en el momento y vivirlo asi….con la simpleza que trae el presente y la luz de cada situación. te quiero y gracias por tu apoyo incondicional amiga, que rico… ese abrazo lo recibi en tiempo real.

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